A day in the life

Having a sophisticated Christmas

Chemotherapy weekend this weekend. All I want to do is sleep so I have enough energy with to do admin and learn how to do excel spreadsheets. I have developed a love for spreadsheets. It’s a weird side effect of chemotherapy.

Got promoted at work a couple of weeks ago. Time is flying past! Just got the modules for coaching/training a team and it’s really exciting! One step forward. Oh, I need to get my blood test before work so I just have to do my oncology appointment in the afternoon. Dietitian is over the phone- I think.

Feeling a bit groggy today. I went to the gym last night after work because I’m still annoyed how difficult lunges were for me. Feel better though. Now I’m in a Shakira mood…

I often wonder about my inability to sit still. How it’s affected my treatment and overall recovery. My Excercise Physio told me that now it’s about finding a balance in life with treatment, excercise, work and everything. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m partially deaf so my balance has always been a bit off.
My family with my eyeball

This morning I was a water balloon. My kidneys taps turned off for a few hours and I slowly swished around my bed. Thankfully, I didn’t pop.

I sometimes wonder, would it have been different if I just stayed in NZ? The answer is yes, of course 🙄😅 but would it have been like this? Sometimes, I sit here thinking about just how far I push my physical and mental boundaries.🦾👾 Then I ask myself if it’s worth it? Maybe that’s why I don’t like silence or quiet spaces. I ask questions that I don’t like the answers to or when I answer them then I’m like, cool- now what?🙁

Waking up feeling very groggy. Feeling grateful that I called the nurse to discuss what happened on Monday. They’re thinking it might be dehydration and fatigue. I know it’s one of them, possibly both. Tremors are slowly leaving my body. Like an orderly army shuffle.

2nd day of survivor- I feel like I have tremours in my arms and legs. Especially my knees. I am a walking shake n bake. Gosh, this round is giving me some full on side effects. Hopefully, Wednesday brings some calmness. 🤞🥳

Working today has it’s challenges after being disconnected yesterday. Believe me, I am fully aware of my limitations and also know how to combat them. I run on adrenaline for the first 4 days after chemo. Coffee, adrenaline and to do lists. The point is, I just remembered tonight about how low my blood pressure can get during treatment and how temperamental my iron levels are. Nearly passed out walking up the stairs to my bedroom so quickly shuffled, changed into my pjs and collapsed in bed. The whole time praying, I was still breathing tomorrow. Touch and go but 3 hours later, a handful of crackers and an up and go….God is good. If you want to live your life with cancer, you have to find ways to live. Simple but very crazy at times.

Honestly, doing the liquid diet while on the folfiri treatment has been such a game changer! Also, easing back into sold foods by staying on the liquid diet and introducing plain foods slowly over 3-4 days has settled my bowel down.

The wheels on the bus goes round and round….so does my head. Nausea in the morning adds a bit of excitement to the week.
This is becoming a problem…but it feels so right!

This morning, I was disconnected from my 4th round of chemotherapy. Chemo goes for 3 days then I get 2 weeks off. Feeling a bit tense from lack of sleep so I came to the beach. The only place I find solace at the moment…..I really feel like wedges…

My older cousin and Aunty came over and stayed the night! I haven’t really spent time with them all year and the fact i get have a sleep over tonight with them is so exciting! Feels just like old times 🥰🛌❤

Being on a liquid diet while doing Folfiri treatment is funny. All I can think of is cookies but I can’t be bothered eating atm. Also, feeling like I’m enduring a winter blast and it’s 21 degrees outside lol.

I did weight training that my excercise doctor gave me to try. He was saying I’m doing a lot of endurance training with boxing and walking. So suggested I give weights a go. I thought it would be a breeze. I forgot how hard lunges were. Especially when your balance is a bit off. 40 minutes of it. Strength training is very much needed.

Today I have treatment. Today I am a pancake.

Just overheard a nurse offer to do an MRI of a Barista’s brain. So she can see “his memory card.” Flirting at its finest.

Feeling like a skeleton today. The fatigue is really kicking in and I still have 4 days of work before treatment. In saying that, listening to ‘Red’ by Taylor Swift right now and feeling a burst of energy. I’m an energetic skeleton today!

When your body wants food but your mouth is saying ‘get stuffed another way- I’m tired.’🙄 The fun times of having no appetite.

Resting takes many forms. Resting on the train is the main form recovery. Bowel feels tender but we cool. Taking it one station at a time.

Nature has a way of reconnecting me to my soul. Whether I’m on the train seeing the wide open space, hiking with my partner in the beautiful places near his place or just sitting at the beach, breathing in the sea air. Sitting in the park, watching the trees sway. It speaks with grace, a stillness that has more vitality than my legs can carry some days. It whispers “today you’re here. Yesterday was a bit shit but sit with me for a minute. Let’s dream the world away”.

Potatoes wedges are the most beautiful thing to eat. They’re like potatoe clouds covered in spice. I love wedges

Today is my first day off since my chemotherapy on Sunday. I worked from Monday through to Thursday and it was pretty tough, Monday and Tuesday were the hardest, I couldn’t even talk but I got through it. Spending time with my boyfriend today. He bought me a really beautiful bracelet for my birthday that I’m definitely keeping on. Unless I’m showering or sleeping then it stays in its box until the morning.

6 responses to “A day in the life”

  1. Hi Carla. Thank you for sharing your week journey with us. I smiled as I read through your blog thinking of how proud I am of you. Your bracelet is beautiful and you are very blessed with a very loving and kindhearted partner. May God continue to bless you always. Mum💖💖🥰🥰😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you mum! Love you always xo


  2. hug you sweet baby🤗🤗🤗


  3. Whoa – this is quite a week. You are a remarkable young woman to go through all this. Best wishes for 2022!


    1. Thank you so much! I am finally getting back into writing and always look forward to your new posts. All the best for 2022 to you as
      well xo!


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